For the last 2 and a half weeks I’ve been without my personal pc, or laptop – which was brand new, I might add as it was only 2 months ‘young’. It just kept crashing, showing a blue screen and a long message I couldn’t read in time before it would shut down and restart. All I could read in the 2 seconds it appeared was that there was a fatal error with the hard drive and windows…..

Technology has become such an important part of our lives…evident in my feelings of utter loss and desperation when I was faced with living – even for a day – without my ‘faithful’ laptop. These feelings shocked me more than the actual fact of not having my laptop– my ‘faithful friend’ (hah!) to work with.

Lately my husband had started telling me that I was growing too dependent, or, to put it in his words, “addicted” to the internet and my pc. I would scoff at him telling him that my work depended on my research over the internet and contact with others interested or active in my field. I had to be connected. At the same time I would express concern at my daughter spending hours chatting to her friends on FB!

Reality hit home when I was faced with living without my laptop.

As I said, the feelings I experienced terrified me more than anything else. George, my husband, was right. I had grown dependent, if not addicted, to being or having access to the internet.

So, I began to think things over. What was life like before the internet, before mobile phones even? Not quite so stressful, I’m sure. Although access to information and easy communication has helped us in numerous ways it has also made us more vulnerable. Privacy and security have become issues of concern. How much do we want the world to know about us? In the final analysis is it good to expose yourself to the world on a personal level? Does chatting to friends on FB and other platforms really relieve our feelings of loneliness and isolation? To some extent yes. But when I found myself without this window to the outside world I felt lonelier than ever. Why? Because in depending on my FB friends (who are wonderful, I must add!) I had ‘abandonned’ my real-time friends and family. Ok, so I’m a bit of a solitary person anyway. I’ve learnt to live on my own for days at a time and can keep myself occupied with my work, interests and hobbies. But there does come a time when you do need person to person communication and connection.

On a work level, I found that the internet had started stealing my creativity. Spending excessive amounts of time on the internet I was depriving myself of the joy of creativity. Instead of my designing and painting taking priority it was coming second, if not third. Designing and painting by hand, mixing my colours, playing with shapes and motifs all the while listening to inspiring music has changed my outlook and temperament and made me happier, more confident and positive. I am spending more time doing what I should have been doing all the time and making more definite steps to realizing my visions and goals.

I still don’t have my own pc back yet. I’m using an older one that I had given my mum. But I’m spending minimum time on the internet. In fact, I’m writing this as a word document to post later. My internet connection is switched off. Mornings and afternoons are my most productive hours so I spend this time doing my truly creative work and taking the necessary steps to realizing my goals. I only allow myself a couple of hours in the evening checking my emails, checking in on FB, twitter & linkedin, reading a couple of blogs that I follow and perhaps posting something myself.

Rather than being reactive I have become more proactive. I am taking control (or at least more control than I had before) of external forces rather than them controlling me. It takes some effort initially, but it’s surprisingly easier than I expected and the benefits are immeasurable.

This post also marks a shift in my blogging style, but more on that next time…

Till then,

Smile, be well and find your bliss – creatively

Lena B